


the long goodbye

by abvj



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, Post-Episode: s06xe02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 23:33:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11046642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abvj/pseuds/abvj
Summary: There’s that saying about old habits though and while Emily is smarter than most, beaten paths are always the easiest ones to follow no matter who you are and what you’re trying to hide.





	the long goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Posting for archival purposes. Previously written as a Porn Battle entry in 2011 and originally posted elsewhere. Specific spoilers for 6x02, "JJ", so if you aren't caught up beware.

The adjustment is slow to take after.

Everybody starts picking up some of the slack, trying to fill the vast void JJ had left behind. It is an adjustment through and through and they’re all good at compartmentalizing, all smart enough to know how to take the loss and file it away. To bury it in the work, with all the death they’ve encountered that will never stop seeping into their lives and digging under their skin.

It’s how you survive, the only way to do so really, and Emily understands that. Knows that she needs to let go and move on.

There’s that saying about old habits though, and while Emily is smarter than most, beaten paths are always the easiest ones to follow no matter who you are and what you’re trying to hide.

 

 

 

The team has been to California and back, a particularly long week that sticks out amongst the rest in blinding hindsight. On Sunday she heads to DC out of habit and need, both emotions rolled into one and settling heavily on her shoulders as she pulls into the driveway.

Will’s out wherever Will chooses to go and Emily settles onto the couch across from JJ with ease. She shifts until she’s comfortable, smiling as Henry laughs something lovely into his mother’s neck. On the table between them is a bottle of red because JJ knows that Emily has always been quite fond of the way a good Merlot lingers, the way reminders stay on her lips and teeth for hours afterwards, something to carry with her.

JJ smiles, teeth bare and hair sweeping across her forehead as Henry sits in her lap, little fingers wrapped around a stray piece. There’s a moment or two, a distinct stretch of time when the silence rings in Emily’s ears and the displacement between them may not have been intentional but it’s still palpable. So tangible Emily can reach out and touch it, draw her index finger over the line just as easily as she used to trace JJ’s bones and scars, the slender muscle of her thigh.

“You alright?” JJ asks because she always knows, a better profiler than they ever gave her credit for.

Emily uses the wine to wash away the bitterness and smiles something soft in the return.

 

 

 

In the kitchen she washes the wine glasses by hand while JJ is upstairs putting Henry down for his nap. There is a silence that pops in her ears as her fingers wilt underneath the water. Emily hears JJ’s footsteps near in the hallway, but she doesn’t turn around until she’s behind her, fingers skimming Emily’s as she sets a glass to the side and JJ reaches for it. There’s a moment, of course, where they look at each other and smile, distance and time and everything they used to share lingering between them. It’s harder now than it was before, different from when they saw each other every day, knew things about each other’s lives that they’d never shared with anyone else.

They were friends first, something else much later, and so much of Emily’s life was wrapped up in her work that it was really just inevitable. So much of her life is still wrapped up in her work and there are things she needs to talk about, things she used to be able to talk about with JJ that she’s not sure she can anymore.

It’s not her world anymore and that knowledge settles deeper than anything else.

Once upon a time, Emily would have kissed her in moments like these. Once upon a time she would have done it without hesitation. She only does so now because she’s trying to hold onto things that seem so impossible. Things that are better off left alone.

Emily kisses JJ softly at first with her lips parted around the two syllables of her name. There is a substantial amount of relief that passes through her when JJ’s shoulders crumble like a faulty foundation, her mouth opening wide as she kisses Emily back.

 

 

 

The progression is natural, nothing they haven’t done before and JJ has her fingers in-between Emily’s legs, fingers teasing skin and slipping between folds as her mouth skims the surface of Emily's neck like she’s never stopped doing so. There’s a sigh filled with something lovely that passes between them, something akin to resignation and remembrance and Emily reaches up to cup JJ’s face, thumb tracing the gentle curve of her jaw, her cheekbone, her lips. Her touch is tender and loving and filled with all the things they don’t know how to be to each other anymore.

There is a shared smile, Emily’s lip between her own teeth, biting down until she breaks the skin.

“God, I’ve missed this,” is the only thing that JJ says, always _this_ and never _you_ , and Emily ignores the implications like she always does. JJ’s voice is low and breathy, just right as she slips a finger inside of Emily, then two, fingers curling upwards just like the corners of her own mouth. Her eyes are wide as she watches Emily gasp and writhe against her own volition, her body traitorously pliant under the other woman's touch.

JJ’s thumb bumps her clit every so often, up and down, in gentle circles and her mouth is hard and bruising on Emily’s when she starts to clench and come around her tiny fingers. Emily’s lip finds it’s way between her teeth again in effort to keep from crying out.

 

 

 

After, Emily adjusts her clothes and JJ washes her hands. Outside a door shuts and a car alarm beeps and the two women look at each other for a moment, breathing back to something resembling normal. Emily goes to say something, but words fail her. JJ just smiles.

The front door swings open and the shift is inevitable.

“You want to stay for dinner?” JJ asks quietly, her fingers skimming Emily’s wrist with slight pressure before releasing completely.

Emily just nods. It might be a while before they see each other again.


End file.
